November 20th.

Below is an article my mom wrote for the Tallahassee Democrat on November 20th, 1999.  Though it's often through foggy eyes, I love to read it because it's just a strong reminder of God's sovereignty and faithfulness... I hope it does the same for you!

On November 11, 1989 at 2 a.m. my husband prepared to take me to the emergency room at Tallahassee Memorial Hospital. Previously doctors had discovered a heart condition that they believed would require a transplant at some point in the future. But I became very ill that evening, growing more and more weak with difficulty breathing. As we got ready to leave, I knew my heart was failing, but it was also breaking to leave behind my 7-month-old daughter, Sarah Jane, not knowing when or if I would ever return home.

I went into her room and put my hand on her back as she lay sleeping in her crib. I leaned over and kissed the back of her neck and smelled her little head. I was trying so hard to remember what she looked like that night so I could "take her with me" in my mind. I became more ill at the hospital and almost died after a week there. But on November 20th, a heart became available and was successfully transplanted into my body to replace my failing one. Needless to say, it was a Thanksgiving week I will never forget.

This week my family and I will celebrate the 10th anniversary of my transplant, and that is largely due to the availability of this type of surgery at my hometown hospital, Tallahassee Memorial. I cannot imagine this experience without the skilled care and compassion of many different doctors and nurses, with Drs. J. Galt Allee, Thomas Bixler, and Arthur Clements leading my list of heroes. They, along with many others offered us hope when we were afraid and share our joy in our successes. I thank them for everything they have done for me.

I also thank my friends and church family who have helped us through the years by letting this be something that happened to them as well. We have never felt alone. Their love and prayers have given us strength. I also thank the others who have received transplants here, before and after me, for their encouragement. I thank my husband's co-workers at the Tallahassee Police Department for their support for him. And to Lt. Kelly Burke, you are the treasure of my heart.

But my greatest thanks go to a family in Chalmette, LA, whose memory of Thanksgiving week 1989 is still painful. Dave and Vicki Brubaker's 15 year old daughter, Tammi, died on thatNovember 20th, and yet they were willing to help complete strangers because they believed it is what their daughter would have wanted. Fortunately for me, they are no longer strangers but friends whose interest in my well-being and that of my family is an inspiration to me. They have my deepest gratitude.

This Thanksgiving please take time to let your loved ones know you'd would like to be an organ donor. Even if you have signed an organ donor card or have a stamp on your license, it is ultimately your family's decision. Please let them know it is important to you. If you are unsure you wish to donate, please reconsider. It may be hard to imagine anyone you love ever needing a transplant...I still can't believe it happened to me. But the fact is thousands of Americans die waiting for a transplant each year because of the lack of donors. All of them had families who loved them, children they wanted to see grow up. Or perhaps they were children themselves just hoping for a chance to grow up. No one would take a plate of food outside and throw it away while a starving neighbor watched. Please don't bury what you can no longer use when it can save so many lives.

Earlier this month, on the evening if November 11th, I went in to kiss my Sarah Jane goodnight. Now she is a beautiful 10-year-old who loves sports, Chaires Elementary, her puppy Jake, the Seminoles, smiley faces, playing the piano, and Jesus. I am very blessed to have the privilege to watch her grow into a beautiful young lady. I still remember just hoping to see her walk.

Then I went into the room next to hers and put my hand on the back of her sleeping baby brother, Ryan Kelly. I leaned over and kissed the back of his neck and smelled his little head. Tammi's heart helped make this little guy. It is awesome what God will do through giving hearts. Believe me, I know. His grace is truly amazing and I've thanked Him every day - for 10 years - for the many giving hearts he has put in my life. I am humbled by each one.

NYC: part 1.

i say part 1 because one of these days i will upload lots of photos to by blog. and i want my NYC ones on here. but i'm going to write this post now so i don't forget anything, and i can supplement it with iphone photos :) where to begin? with the beginning i suppose. i spologize in advance for how long iand detailed this will be, it's also serving as a journal for me to not forget stuff. that being said...

day 1, saturday: we woke up at about 3:30am to catch our flight ay 5:38 out of tallahassee. we made it with plenty of time (after a scare of not being able to find an open gas station) and flew to atlanta. ate breakfast and napped during our 3 hour layover, and then carried on to Newark, NJ. after we landed we took a train into the city, it was the most crowded train i'd ever seen. we had to walk like 8 blocks to the hotel, which was very stressful with all of our luggage (and empty stomachs!) but we finally arrived- the Hilton in Times Square :)

that's the view from our 28th floor hotel room. kinda cool ;) we only stayed in our room for a hot sec though, we were starving and ready to hit the city. we debated places to eat and finally decided on the "Times Deli." very expensive but it was good, and felt great to finally eat! then we started walking... saw more of times square but it was packed... SO packed... way too crowded. so instead we started to head down 5th ave... well that was even worse. went into a few stores, including the NBA store which was HUGE and awesome. seeing rockefeller was a fail, too crowded also, and there was a line around the block for FAO scwarz! but we did get to go into the Apple store... unreal. i love being a Mac person :) then we walked around central park for a while to avoid the crowds, but tried not to get too far in since it was dark already (sunset at 4:30 pm, what?!) since it's supposedly skecthy. we confirmed, it's sketchy at night... homeboy started HISSING at us... uuuhhh. but we did get to catch a little bit of a ice skating show!

next we took a taxi into little italy and chinatown. had our first super sketchy handbag buying experience... little asian woman led us down the street to a back room in their salon where they sold knock-off dolce, coach, chanel, etc. they were overpriced, but it was fun. the next one was a winner though, sold their stuff streetside, told us to wait around while they got the bag we wanted. keely got a coach bag for $30 that we're pretty sure was totally real and probably stolen... hehe.

for dinner we found an italian restaurant in little italy where our waiter was a young gay guy who was totally looking out for us, let us split with no split charge and such : ) it was great italian food too! after that we hit up an Urban Outfitters, and an American Apparel where we became bff with the entire staff, most of them being NYU students.

SIDE NOTE: maybe it's just because i lived in south florida last year, but i was expecting new yorkers to be mean and rude, but most of them were immensely nice. that's all.

anyway, we were SO tired after shopping (other side note: AA had sales.... it was awesome. that never happens.) so we took a cab back to the hotel and hit the sack after 22 hours of being awake. that bed felt wonderful :) this was the times square we saw when we got dropped off:

day 2, sunday: slept in for a while. keely and morgan used our 2 free breakfast coupons and brought up food to the room for all of us. we started heading down 42nd and found a huge park with lots of cute little shops and an ice skating rink :) it was closed for rain, sadly... but we probably couldn't have afforded it anyway. we went in search of an H&M and found a huge one, and another Urban :) then keely took us here, Dylan's Candy Bar:

Dylan is Dylan Lauren, as in Ralph's daughter. this place was HUGE. can't wait to upload my photos from there. after that we saw Serendipity, which was tiny and cute... and Grand Central Station, which was not so tiny. but it was awesome! then we went to try for round 2 of rockefeller tree. success.

it was huge. and beautiful. and awesome. still crowded, but bearable. by this time it was like 5 o'clock, and we needed lunch :) found a hot dog/ gyro stand, and ate it at the bottom of a closed subway station stairway to get out of the rain that was starting. after that we headed back to the hotel to get ready for our broadway debut ;)

we saw chicago. it was unreal. it was in the Ambassador theatre, which was a smaller one... but that was nice because we felt SO close to the actors. also since the show was all about jazz, the band was on the stage instead of in the pit, which made me very happy. i could have probably gotten thrown out for taking this, but i'm sneaky like that.the show was very witty and the acting and singing was just amazing! definitely a great first experience. afterwards we took a cab to the empire state building and went up to the 86th floor observatory deck. ho. ly. goodness.

this might have been the favorite part of the trip. it was snowing a little way up there, and you could see EVERYTHING. gosh it was just unreal! more photos to come for sure, because there are no words to describe.

as we were leaving, old black guy outside asks "ya'll need a taxi?" and we were like "well, probably..." and he asked "well where you headed?" and we said probably just the hilton in times square... and he goes "$25 i'll take you in this here limo :)" we were ike uhhhh YES PLEASE. it. was. so. awesome. huge white stretch limo. plenty more photos of that too, but here's one morgy got of me captuing them :)

way too much fun :) anyways then we went to dinner at dave and busters, just since none of us had ever been haha. and it was right below our hotel. we called it a night after that.

day 3, monday: monday was just to buy all the last minute things and see the last minute sights. morgan wanted to see Brooklyn, so me and keely downloaded NYC Subway system apps, and we tackled the subway system. we succeeded, but were really pressed for time. only got to stop for a quick coffee in Brooklyn before we got back on the Subway to see central park in the daytime. that was basically the end of our adventure, we had to pack up so a BLACK CADDY could take us to the airport. :) right after we got in the car it started snowing, so the three of us (me and the basses) were hanging out of the windows trying to catch the flakes and having WAY too much fun. but it was over.

coming home we ran into 2 delayed flights, and a flat tire. should've stayed in NYC. sorry for all the length and detail, but this is partially just for me to not forget my experience :)

winter weekend #1. iPhone documented.

this past weekend, me, keely, will and brian went to see our Noles play in the ACC championship game. they lost, but we still had a great time. we drove up on friday night and stayed with will's aunt annette in Columbia, SC. after a wonderful greek lunch we headed on to (a freezing cold)Charlotte! these photos posted backwards, but you get the idea.

i found a libby, haven't seen her in years? crazy.

me and kee.



city overlooking the stadium, pretty sweet. that tall building had LED "fireworks" whenever a touchdown was scored. would've liked to see more garnet and gold ones...

he only wore a hoodie... sily boy.

our seats, suprisingly not sucky.

where we defrosted and got coffee/ hot chocolate before the game. Amelie's cafe in downtown Charlotte. sooo good. strong coffee, real hot choc w/ salted caramel. mmm.


some cityyy. it was gloomy.

ACCCG.

we were walking downtown.. :)

some more gloomy city.

Bank of America stadium.

holler.

so that was our weekend. would've been better had we won... but oh well.

in other news i have vertigo. it's not terrible so far, but spinning rooms are not awesome. thank goodness for Mrs. Weeks, that's all i have to say.

also, i have to just say this...weekend and vertigo sitch aside: that He is faithful. so faithful. and His word never returns void. His faith is perfect, and mine is so feeble. I want more... I need more. but I am left in awe and totally grateful for who He is in my life.

"Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us." - Rom. 5:5.

livin' it up.

it's december 2010. i'm 21 years old, "prime of life"?
i suppose we'll see about that. but i do know that i am dad gum excited about my next few weekends!

tomorrow: me, will, keely and brian are heading up to NC for the ACC championship game! we play va tech. i'm so stoked. we're staying with aunt annette, which is exciting. it's going to be cold as all get out, but i am so excited for the trip.

next weekend: me, keely, morgan, and alison are going to freaking NEW YORK CITY. i've never been before in my life, and as morgan and i were joking about last night, we could probably sit on a street corner the whole weekend and be happy just being in the city. but keely is a pro at all things NYC, so we're going to be very busy with all kinds of fun things. my anticipation is skyrocketing.. i really can't wait. and with that crew, it's bound to be a great time.

the great downfall in all of this is my financial situation... my money has fled away from me and i'm not sure where to, but i'm hoping it doesn't put too big of a stunt on my fun. i doubt it can.

this is just a superficial post for fun that i hope to look back on and smile, so i'm going to include the hilarious and outlandish story of my day, just for kicks.

so. here's my today story. i had an awful morning... no coffee, running late for an advising appointment, realize i won't be able to park except for far away and i need to shoot for another option. so, i park on the side of the road on dewey behind mcd's (results in a $25 parking citation, but that's another story) ANYWAY. i'm walking back to my car, mccafe in hand, and all of the sudden i hear the loudest boom of my life. immediately i'm terrified.. but there's construction so i think maybe it's on purpose. well then i see the workers RUNNING to the other side of the road, where my car is. okay definitely not on purpose. then these geese fly away, except for one who is STRUGGLING. then i realize things are falling from the sky and i'm like uhhhhh something exploded? then i notice that theyre FEATHERS. so.... a goose exploded. yep. a goose flew up and hit the power line, blew the transformer, and exploded. WTF. sucks... there were some cars underneath the power line and if fell on top of them... probably could've been much worse but some of the cars got kinda effed up. anyways, people are walking out on their balconies all confused and panicky.. it was freaking crazy.

this is crazy.

and by "this" all i really mean is time haha. time is so freaking crazy. it's weird because sometimes i feel like it just absolutely crawls and never changes, and then other times it legitimately blows my mind how much has happened in my life, and SO fast.

like wasn't high school just a second ago? lunches to publix and we would honk coming around that blind curve because we were just too BA to slow down, or craig would go to the farther away burger king just to avoid traffic and drive faster. or even just the beginning of college.. hello random gainesville roadtrips and stuff? so weird. so so weird. not to mention the fact that i moved away. like... moved away and moved back to town. and how much happened in that year? goodness.

"can someone just stop me from getting old?"

i mean not really at all though... i'm so grateful for everything that's happened. my life has advanced in such a wonderful way, every step. sure i miss the memories, i miss things that happened... but if i can look back and smile, why not look forward and smile too? He has got all this on lock. i just gotta walk.

in other news, last night we beat uf for the first time in a long time and it felt great to be there and watch it. just had to point that out ;) go freaking noles. right now i'm anxiously waiting to hear about whether or not we got tickets to watch our boys play next weekend in the ACC championship. aaaahhh! just a thing of beauty.

thanks.

well, so much for blogging at OE, i suppose. i really wish i would have kept it up.

but now, i want to start again. need to start again, really. and there is so much to be said.

i will try to keep it short for now though. this is the time of year when we're all supposed to be thankful. everyone talks about it, everyone hears about it, reads about it, the theme of thankfulness is kind of everywhere. but this time of year is tough. it's easy for me to be thankful, because she is here. she got another chance. she got an angel. but the loss that they felt 21 years ago, it hurts to remember. not to mention the hurt we felt 13 years and 2 weeks ago, or 2 years and 25 days ago, or just 4 days ago. life is fragile, way too fragile. but that's why we're thankful... we have it. and it's a gift. but is that how we treat it?

not me, usually.

but it's time.

"My flesh and my heart fail; But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

Selah.

Psam 73:26

round 2, photoless.

Jordan pointed out that he is kicking my butt with this blogging thing…I’ve got to get better about this! But life is reallllllly busy. I hardly know how to sum it up at this point…let’s give it a try.

Still balancing LOTS of hw and practice… and things are picking up with the bands, which is exciting! Went to see Jordan and his crew play at the Plantation extension campus last night… they killed it! My band is playing in the gym, one of the overflow services on Sunday, and I’m sooooo pumped about it. It’ll be great to get back to playing for real J and we’re singing with the choir this weekend too… you can watch it live @ 6:30 Saturday, 8:30 or 12:30 on Sunday (I’ll be missing from 10:15) on calvaryftl.org. It’s gonna be a party.

Lots of mind blowing has been going on… from seeing U2 live (WHAT?!) and driving home through the night, b/c we’re idiots J and watching the sun rise on alligator alley. I took lots of pics of that on my phone, but I can’t reeeeally figure out how to upload them to the internet. Lame. But regardless, God’s glory kinda blew me away… and Your Love is Strong came on shuffle right at daybreak..gotta love those coincidences, huh? ;) My new favorite thing since the weather has been so awesome is to lay on the golf course and look at the stars (time willing…ha!) and it’s been so awesome to just be truly overwhelmed with God’s faithfulness, His love, His massiveness, and His purpose. Those are just a few themes ongoing.

I’m still kind of amazed also at the talent around here…holy cow. But the best part is that despite how good some of these people are (namely staff), they’re so encouraging. I feel really be blessed to be a part of this community. Of course I miss my community back home, but from what I hear of back home stuff is going really awesome, which is also a blessing. (bearsies…) I’m praying for Do It BIG 09!!!

Oh geez…not going to get long winded. HA. Sorry I have no pictures this time… fail. I was planning on having several from my phone but… cool, Verizon. Hopefully I’ll pick up my camera soon. If you want to watch my homework on youtube you can. Kidding…don’t watch it please… but it’s really on youtube, homework?! And studying with a Bible always… school is so awesome. Blows my mind. (There I go again….) PEACE AND BLESSINS.